The place of a man in the smooth running of polygyny cannot be reduced to conjectures, he holds a leadership role that must be religiously and morally handled. With one man and four wives, we have successfully removed vices like fornication, adultery, lesbianism, homosexuality etc.
Our Creator can never be wrong, so working against polygyny, it’s like promoting social vices. If we want to reduce immorality to the bearest minimum, we must initiate marital bliss. A sister was asked, ‘What if your husband marries another wife?’ “My husband will marry another wife when he’s not mad, he dares not try it!”.
There are women and there are women. Sometimes, Muslim sisters should not be found with diabolical gestures, just imagine, ‘Please do not let her know that the second wife is pregnant, because I know what she’s capable of! Do you think this is mere jealousy or you are losing your Hereafter because of the world’s pleasures?
When your husband takes in another wife, and you give him war in a manner of speaking, you are not helping the situation. The truth is, it is not easy, there is no pretence about the issue, it hurts for some, but religious consideration should supersede our desires. The rejection will affect not your just husband and the second wife, but the religion by extension.
I saw Hajia in one of her videos, practically begging sisters who are abandoning their marriages because of polygyny, to stay and fix whatever they have against their husbands. She said; that society is overwhelmed with a high rate of divorce cases, so joining the queue to become side chics or radical feminists will be an aberration.
It is obvious your husband is afraid of you, he knows if you get to know of his plan to marry a second wife will be disastrous, so he marries the second wife secretly, begging all family members not to tell you, because you can destroy, still, do you think this is a good description of you or you are being referred this way wrongly. The only reason the second wife is being treated like thrash is you.
Do not be surprised, that we have women who are so flexible about polygyny, you must have seen plural marriages with wonderful results, I have seen, so it is important to select a man or woman who believes in polygamous marriage if you wish to practice it, not those who will run to soothsayers or send you to jail for choosing polygyny.
Abu Sheikh