The relationship between wives and mothers-in-law is a debate, some families have been so lucky to have a smooth interaction, while others have been a tug of war. Obviously, in this part of the world, we rely on extended/compound family structure, so you do not just marry your husband or wife, you take along their family members. ‘Me and my husband’, does not apply to our structure.
A lady once said, ‘I never wished to have a mother-in-law, I have wanted a man I would marry not to have a mother’, this is a bad wish, from the pit of hell. You will become a mother-in-law one day, so will you be happy if the same thing is said to you?
Some women are cruel, marrying them will cause you problems, they will separate you from your parents, and they will tell you to stop mummy from visiting, because she is a witch, as if only from the husband’s family that witches and wizards thrive. Most men who fail to do background checks are not smart, there are a lot of problems attached to marrying a misfit.
As a lady seeking marriage, try to understand the relationship between your husband-to-be and his mother (parents), it will help you to know how to come in and the level to operate in the family. Your family structure may be different from your husband’s family, you need to ask the man to give details of the family’s values, you do not just get married to a family you know nothing about.
It is our tradition to investigate the family of the partner you are choosing because the man or woman may be excellently good for you, but his family will be torn in the flesh.
Some mothers-in-law are hostile, they see you as an intruder if they feel threatened by you, they will figure out a thousand ways to make you suffer for it, they believe you have come to distort the relationship between them and their sons, so to make you submissive, you have to adopt their opinion, religion, culture, appearing at every family event, learning her ways of cooking, and they want to control everything in their sons’ houses, if you fail to do any of that, you are indeed a rotten daughter-in-law, and you may be on your way out.
Most ladies want to marry men with potential. Having potential means innate abilities to achieve some things and get to certain heights, a man that can have plans for himself, that can get accommodation for himself, especially where to keep his wife. Living in the family house is becoming difficult for most women, they do not want to have confrontations with their mothers-in-law, indeed, women love to have space.
A man must be very intelligent and set boundaries from the beginning, he needs to display this intelligence in the relationship between his wife and mother, the peace between them is the happiness of the extended/compound family.
The family house is cool, some people want to stay close to their ageing parents, and in-laws, and having a family member living nearby means a lot, if we can live harmoniously, it comes with benefits, just like they say, everyone is important. Unfortunately, we only pretend to love the next person, but in reality, we mean the difference.
As a man, you need two amazing women in your life, your mother and wife, make sure you have them in harmony.
Source: Servant of Allah